How not to get around MIT
The new fall semester approaches, bringing with it new fashions, new television seasons, and new freshmen wearing the latest fashions they saw on television. Having been a freshman recently enough to remember all of the embarrassing missteps I made (except for the ones I can’t remember), it seems appropriate at this juncture to share the golden wisdom I’ve accumulated (both karats of it) with all of you newcomers while reader interest is still running on morbid curiosity.
Central Square
When I was a freshman, I truly believed Central Square was the “bad” part of town. My memories of the area centered on a misplaced Gap (now out-of-business) and a very “colorful” Wendy’s. Back then, I never would’ve imagined that I would eventually move off campus to live in this neighborhood. Out of all the Boston neighborhoods, it’s one of my favorites. For the time being, I can’t imagine living anywhere else.
A grand adventure
Traveling is the best geography lesson. No matter how glossy the photos and detailed the descriptions, textbooks give the impression of flatness and uniformity to a multidimensional and diverse land. Nowhere was this more apparent than in my family trip to the Grand Canyon this summer. I’ve lived in Florida my whole life, so it was a change of scenery to see pine forests give way to bayous, the landscape buckle into hills and valleys before giving way to immense plains of wheat.
BROUHAHA RHYTHM It’s hot, humid, and stormy; must be summer
Six semesters in, and I’m only now spending a summer at MIT. I’d heard tales that unlike the brutally cruel winters of New England, Boston summers were actually fairly reasonable as far as climate was concerned. I can’t remember where I heard it, but I’ve decided that whoever told me so was clearly suffering from heat-induced pathological lying. Oh, sure, it’s not so bad anymore, but summer is summer no matter how you slice it, and summer can be downright uncomfortable on physical, emotional, and meteorological levels.
Rebuilding the Machine Man
Trying to figure out where I stand on the line between “good taste in movies” and “cinema snob” has been a bizarre process. Looking through my movie collection, the balance between “mindless but enjoyable fluff” and “underappreciated gems that I spend most of my time trying to show other people” is surprisingly even. One of my recent purchases, a blockbuster action-comedy starring Dwayne Johnson (while he was still credited as “The Rock”), even manages to fall into both categories.
What MIT taught me
After spending all these years walking across 77 Mass Ave, it is only natural that I should ask myself what I have learned from the Institute. The more interesting question would be to ask what I “haven’t” or “couldn’t” learn. I’ll go with “haven’t,” because it puts more weight on personal responsibility — definitely learned about that at MIT!
Crisis on multiple majors
Well, that’s it for junior year. Grades are in, sighs of relief have been released and blood pressure is back down. Yet a single understanding hangs over my head like an incontinent pigeon: in a matter of months, I’ll be a college senior. High-pitched, hyperventilated screams of panic abound. It’s not just the looming graduate school or reality, or the fact that I still don’t know which one it’s going to be. It’s not my inability to decide what I want to do or why, either. Nor is it the knowledge that many of my best mentor figures are going off to do with confidence aplenty the very things I’m panicking about. It’s...well, actually, I’m not entirely sure what it is, but it most certainly isn’t any of the above. No, sir, most definitely not one of those.
Dear Institute, I will miss you
This is my third to last week at MIT...<i>ever</i>. I am excited to be graduating, but I definitely will be missing a lot of the people here and many things about this place. In particular some of the things I will miss include: Dancing in Kresge Auditorium, food at MIT, and sketchy activities in the Student Center.
BROUHAHA RHYTHM Mapping out the Friend Zone
I was watching a movie with some friends the other night when the topic of a woman’s “friend zone” came up. Presumably, the Friend Zone is a Bermuda Triangle-like region from which there is no exit, inside which a male is considered a non-romantic entity, like a brother or a pet rock. I’ve never believed in the Friend Zone, although I suppose it’s only fair to disclaim that my experiences may differ from others’. Maybe it does exist, and I’ve simply never been placed in it, but I haven’t been quite vain enough to assume something like that since I was 15 — it seems much more likely that it simply hasn’t come into my mind as important.
Cinema in the Third Dimension
I’m not entirely sure how I feel about the resurgence of feature films being presented in 3-D. On the one hand, it’s probably the most sensible response to the demand by moviegoers for novel and interesting cinema experiences, as the witty dialogue and compelling character-driven narrative of films like <i>Bounty Hunter</i> (unfortunately not the Boba Fett biopic I was hoping for) doesn’t seem to be cutting it, for some reason. On the other hand, I’ve always enjoyed being removed from the cinema experience — not in the sense of being kicked out by ushers, but of being an impartial observer who can relate to the characters on the screen (sometimes) without having to inhabit their world. <i>300</i> was cool, but I think I’d feel a self-conscious need to work out more (or at least shower) if I saw Gerard Butler’s sweaty pecs popping out of the screen at me.
VARIOUS STATES OF UNDRESS Frolicking on the first date
“If a girl will sleep with me on the first date, she’s a slut.”
QUARKINESS Cryogenic tricks and treats
Have you experienced cryogenic tricks and treats at MIT? Well, it’s not too late if you haven’t. There are activities starring cryogenics throughout CPW, and they all use liquid nitrogen as their cryogen of choice. The reason is simple: Liquid nitrogen is cheap thanks to its atmospheric abundance (in fact, liquid nitrogen is cheaper than car gas!). While other cryogenic liquids would do similar tricks, they are made from rarer gases and are correspondingly pricier.
VARIOUS STATES OF UNDRESS Long-distance lovers
It pains me to say this because I don’t want to crap all over your fantasy, even if it’s with a healthy dose of reality. But that thing about true love overcoming everything, even distance? That’s a lie.
BROUHAHA RHYTHM Visions of nerds dancing in my head
I like to dance. It’s basically the only exercise I get, and I get to meet all sorts of interesting people outside of MIT. Don’t get me wrong, I realize that there are plenty of opportunities around campus to mingle, but coordinated shouting at movie screens can only get you so acquainted with the people around you. I don’t even care all that much about what kind of dancing I’m doing — club dancing, ballroom dancing, I’ll even Michael Jackson dance if the opportunity arises, objections from bystanders notwithstanding. After the past three weeks, though, given that I can count the muscles in my legs and feet based on the individual types of soreness they’re experiencing, it’s become apparent that such a thing as too much dancing does exist.
BROUHAHA RHYTHM Moderating musical tastes
Upon hearing that I’d only ever heard the highlights from the <i>Phantom of the Opera</i>, as opposed to the full soundtrack, a friend of mine who is...enthusiastic about the show lent me the two-disc complete set over spring break. The fact that I still remembered most of the lyrics, in spite of not having heard them in the better part of a decade, is testament to both how much I enjoyed <i>Phantom</i> and how little other music I had access to at age 12. My much-belated apologies to the people in my 7th grade gym class on the day I thought the title song was appropriate workout music.
VARIOUS STATES OF UNDRESS Going down
Last week, I met one of my good friends for lunch at a fancy restaurant, the kind where they hand you a steak knife for your burger, and she started talking about sex with her man-friend. She’s usually more reserved, so I was curious.
BROUHAHA RHYTHM Rocking out with Ryanhood
A few weeks ago, I had the chance to hang out with one of my favorite bands. My friends can attest to how much of a fan I am of acoustic guitar duo Ryanhood, probably while rolling their eyes and sighing. As it happens, I’m not the only person in the Greater Boston-Cambridge metropolitan area who considers himself a devotee of the band, which recently had a show in the area. Caitlin Mason and Chris Chiampa in Malden, unable to make it to the concert in Boston on March 6, opened her apartment to Ryanhood the next day for some Beatles: Rock Band with band members Ryan Green and Cameron Hood. Luckily for me, a few other fans got to come along for the ride, myself included.
VARIOUS STATES OF UNDRESS Man on a mission
Those who know me can all agree on one thing: I am anything but boring. I’m feisty and loud, I’m the life of the party, and I’m always down for an adventure. I guess that’s why my guy friends were surprised when I said my favorite position is the missionary.